just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
