I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
