don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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