He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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