He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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