Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
