Sry I called you an 8
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
