She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
