Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
