Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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