what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
