I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
