glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
