friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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