Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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