I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
