My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
