oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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