There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize