Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
