I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
