That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
