Quick, to the slutcave!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
