I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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