Need sex. Gaining weight.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize