just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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