so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
