Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
