Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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