I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
