So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
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