Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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