3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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