I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
