I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
