yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
