You can't special order awesome
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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