apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
