quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
