This gyro tastes like lonliness
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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