Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
