Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
