he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
