I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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