my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my vag is so smooth its legendary
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
