I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
