I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
