dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
