My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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