I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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