Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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