Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
