can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she pinky promised me she was 18
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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