i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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