It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
