i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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