I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
