Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
