how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
