Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
