I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You ever have a fart follow you around?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize