Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
