But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
