wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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