I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
