i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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