i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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