escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize