Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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