I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm always down for nudity.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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