Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize