I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
