I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just tell him i said nine months
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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