Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize