I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it glows. i had to have it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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