If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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