I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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