My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
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