Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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