u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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